Saturday, December 10, 2011

Glitterdogs

This high-falutin twist on a hot dog turns already good grub into a hearty delicacy. Not content with the anachronism of eating a hot dog during mid-December, I wanted to elevate the meal, but how?

Just add glitter.

In this case, our glitter is homemade breadcrumbs made from the hollowing out of Dutch crunch gourmet buns. Halve the buns lengthwise (hot dog style).

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Reserve the leftover bread for the breadcrumbs. Then, brush your freshly carved buns with a mixture of olive oil, salt, and pepper. This nice sparkly glaze will get covered by the dog later, but sparkle always counts if you know it's there!

Next, get out some fresh hard cheese, any kind will do! I chose a mixture of Romano and Parmesan:

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Crumble the leftover bread and grate cheese into mixture:

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Now spice it up! I used a simple sea salt/oregano/glitter mixture:

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Toss the breadcrumbs in your oven or toaster oven for a few minutes so they crisp up. In the meantime, cook up those links! I used veggie dogs, but you can use any meat-free or meat-full kind you like.

Then get your ketchup, mayo, and mustard together. I love ballgame feel of using condiment packets.

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When the dogs are finished cooking (I simmered mine for about seven minutes since they were precooked), cut them lengthwise (yes, hot-dog style) and then halve them so they tuck nicely into your prepared buns. Top with a generous smear of mayo.

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When the breadcrumbs have begun to brown, grab a handful and STUFF!

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Now for the finishing touches. I grabbed a Diet Cherry Coke to amplify the down home feel, and mixed a dab of Let's Be Frank devil sauce in with my mustard for extra zing.

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Then, as the finishing touch, grab those ketchup packets and perfect your squiggle! This is something my dad passed down to me from his Brooklyn days: the ultimate ketchup squiggle. Easy with a squeeze bottle, more challenging to create with packets.

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And there you have it! GLITTERDOGS.














Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Original Glittertatta: Two Variations

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This is the glitter I ordered offline, and to my dismay, it came marked "Pearl Spray". I had specifically ordered glitter! Still, glittertatta or shimmertatta, I was confident that my recipe would break new ground.

I started by randomly selecting the contents of my glittertatta at the grocery store. For me, that is a key aspect of glittertatta: spontaneity. I diced some white onion and button mushroom:
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Then I beat five eggs.
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I sauteed my veggies in a bit of organic cold pressed extra virgin olive oil. Only the best for glittertatta. Then I added some preliminary "glitter": salt, pepper, and rosemary.
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After the veggies had cooked a bit, I poured the egg over it and turned the heat down. After it had been cooking for a while (I didn't time it, I just checked the consistency in between looking at meme base online) I grated some cheese--nay, CONFETTI--over it.
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While the egg finished setting, I set the scene for this dramatic meal:
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Here comes the magic! Step number 5 (or something): proceed to douse tatta with glitter spray, thus creating glittertatta.
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Feel free to add your own extra pizzazz with ketchup. I chose to commemorate the birthplace of glittertatta:
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Step 7 or thereabouts: watch your guests' jaws drop in awe as they witness the glory of glittertatta for the first time! Guests may request to add extremely flavorful condiments to mask, er, ENHANCE the glitter:
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For refined tastes only.
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Kaiti's Glittertatta:

Your basic fritatta. It's nutritious, and oh so adaptable. A perfect dinner solution when you have those few extra vegetables that don't seem to have a home, or when you're just plain out of groceries! As long as you've got eggs, you'll always be able to find something to throw into a nice little fritatta.

Here's one of several Kaititattas-
fritatta with spinach, onions, and cheese.

Preheat broiler. Also, preset boyfriend in front of smoke alarm, because if you're awesome like me and cooking bacon to put on your side dish, the broiler and the bacon together will surely piss off that smoke alarm.

Slice up half an onion.




Sauté that baby. I let the onions brown a little, so they start to get a little yummy carmelization action going. Toss in a few handfuls of spinach and let it wilt.



Strain that spinach mixture! Take the time to press the water out of it. I used to never squeeze the water out of my spinach- just because of laziness. And every time, I'd end up with a watery, spinachy something. I'd whine about it as if someone had wronged me in my cooking instruction or grocery purchases. Nope, just lazy. My spinach usage is reformed now, though, and things really do turn out better if you strain your spinach. Sorry for the lecture- I just think you should know.

Anyway, crack six eggs into a bowl and beat them up with a little bit of milk. Stir in the spinach and onion mixture and a couple handfuls of shredded Italian cheese. I used a preshredded blend- and no, I'm not going to lecture you on why you should shred your own cheese. Go ahead and follow your heart on this one... unless it's parm. There's something that's just oh-so satisfying about freshly grated parmesan cheese to top off a dish. Mmmm.

Ok, right. Back to fritatta. So you've mixed up all your ingredients, then heat up a skillet with some butter in the bottom, and toss in the whole mixture. The Italians say to cook your fritatta slowly, over fairly low heat. Give it a few good cracks of salt and pepper. The egg mixture will cook and firm up, and when it's mostly set except for the top, stick it under the broiler.



Don't leave! Stay close and have like two or three sips of wine, maybe an olive, then pull that puppy out of the oven. It doesn't take long.
And there you have it... a yummy, yet slightly boring dinner.




It's not the sort of thing a boyfriend would brag to his buddies about. Not like a turkey leg wrapped in bacon. So what can we do about that? That's right. Edible glitter. Just toss some on top, and all of the sudden, you've made a GLITTERTATTA!



*Note: Since I'm still new at this, I haven't found the perfect glitter yet. This one was too flaky, I don't recommend it. I was going for SPARKLE, and instead it looked more like a plastic Christmas decoration from the 50's. It's not a Christmastatta, people! Will definitely keep shopping and keep you all updated on preferable glitters.*

My glittertatta still achieved the desired affect, though.


Here's how your eager dinner guests will react:


I call this "confused boyfriend face," and I love it. I see this face pretty much every day, but for something as special as a glittertatta, I look forward to seeing the... "extra confused boyfriend face." It seems to say, "I have no idea what's going on, but I'm going to smile and hope she either explains this or gets distracted and forgets why she did it in the first place." Excellent.

So- next time you have a perfectly respectable yet not so fancy meal you'd like to make, don't be embarrassed! Just jazz it up a little! GLITTERTATTA.